Habit 8 – Play to Stay Alive

As time passes, you will develop a reputation as an effective coach. This is when you’re at your most vulnerable because it’s easy to become complacent. You rely more and more on talking the talk. You grow lazy and stop walking the walk.

That’s pretty much what happens to the adult sea squirt, a creature that gets so comfortable bobbing along while stuck to a boat’s hull it ends up devouring its own brain since it doesn’t need it anymore. Coach beware!

Exercise: Move It, Move It, Move It

Play is one of the most effective and efficient ways to get us moving. Look out for opportunities to play, especially during your working day. Play for at least 5 minutes a day to reinvigorate the body and refresh the mind. Play isn’t just for children. Adults need play, too.

For more information, see: The Power of Play, a presentation by Portia Tung, based on the book Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul by Stuart Brown and Christopher Vaughan.

About This Blog Entry

The Next 7 Habits of Highly Effective Coaches is part of a mini series inspired by the style of Paul Coelho‘s “Manual of the Warrior of Light“. You can find the first 7 habits here.

Pure Inspiration

One of the ways I listen to Ted talks is on a Sunday afternoon as I do my weekly ironing. And so it was, one Sunday evening around 6 years ago that I first stumbled upon Elizabeth Gilbert’s talk “Your elusive creative genius“.

The talk was so inspiring, in fact, it awakened my long slumbering dragon of a wish to write a novel of my own one day. A book that would be published through a reputable publisher and inspire its readers.

A Dragon of a Wish

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a writer. Of course, I didn’t really understand what that meant until I was much older, so old and weary from Life’s distractions, threats and challenges that I almost stayed away instead of confront and befriend my dragon of a wish.

One of the most important things I learned was “to be a writer, you have to write“. While that seems like common sense, it’s anything but easy or straightforward. Just because you know what to do, doesn’t make it easier to do. Especially when it’s tied up with the hopes, fears and anxieties that come with realising a lifelong dream.

Along the way, I came across many personal gremlins, some nastier than others. Such an undertaking forced me to dig deep and I got cleverer with each encounter. With each gremlin’s put-down or criticism, I would take a deep breath, smile then say, “To be a writer, I have to write and so I write. Goodbye!”

Dreams Do Come True

Thanks to Elizabeth Gilbert’s inspirational talk, I’ve written and published my first novel “The Dream Team Nightmare – Boost Team Productivity Using Agile Techniques” (also available on Amazon) and presented my first TedX talk about my concept on “Enterprise Gardening: Transforming workplaces into somewhere we belong”.

Time to Awaken Another Dragon

Last weekend, I discovered Elizabeth Gilbert’s just given her second Ted talk about “Success, failure and the drive to keep creating”. Here’s to awaking and befriending more dragons!

Old Friends

Last weekend, I went to visit my old friend Thomas Hardy, one of the greatest English writers to have ever lived. Although he wasn’t at home, there was a lovely lady from the National Trust called Harriet to let us in.

It’s been almost 30 years since I last stepped over the threshold of Hardy’s cottage. Back then, I had dreams of becoming a writer. Of making a positive contribution to the world. And many more great things besides. You know, the usual dreams of many teenagers. The kind of dreams when we were still young, naive and earnest.

As I wandered through Hardy’s house with my new family, all those dreams came rushing back, beckoning me to hurry up if I’m to achieve all of them before the time comes for me to rest. In peace.

Believe

I knew I had come to visit Hardy for a reason. And this is it. To be reminded that we could sleepwalk through most of our lives by keeping busy, doing good and having fun even, but ultimately being distracted from figuring out what truly matters to us.

A Life’s Work

It would be a shame to only realise this when the postern gate is about to close behind us.

What can you do to make more of your life now? How can you make a positive contribution to the world today?

Breaking News

The first-ever interactive Agile business novel “The Dream Team Nightmare” is about to become to first ever film to be made about Agile.

We’ll be paying Hollywood a visit this summer when filming is scheduled to start.

Check out the InfoQ interview with the author here.

Who’s Who

The initial cast list looks something like this:

• Jim Hopper, Agile Coach – Jake Gyllenhaal
• Emily, Jim’s girlfriend played – Ginnifer Goodwin
• Patrick, Head of IT – Liam Neeson
• Cassandra, Product Owner – Julianna Margulies
• Jason, Developer – Steve Buscemi
• Ben, Scrum Master – Seth MacFarlane

Open Audition

If you’d like to audition for a role, get reading “The Dream Team Nightmare” then contact J.J. Abrams directly.

The State of Play

Every so often, people come to me for advice. “How are you?” I ask. “Life is good. Lots going on. Plenty to do,” says my friend. Then just before her voice trails off, “Perhaps too much.”

In our frantic world of go-getting and Blackberry prayers at the dinner table, there can be little time to catch our breath, let alone think. And think clearly.

The Value of an Empty Mind

The most effective thing I’ve learned to do is to take time out. That’s easier said than done, of course. The trick is to first recognise when your head is full. Then you look out for the next moment when you find yourself sitting still in a quiet spot. You then seize the moment and empty your mind.

Staring out the window is a great way to decompress quickly. Notice all the minutiae your eyes usually gloss over, like that robin staring straight back at you through the window. Or pay special attention to the sounds around you. If you listen carefully, you may even hear Nature’s symphony of spring.

“How long do I need to sit for?” you ask. “I’ve got stuff to be getting on with.”

Mindful Thinking

Taking a moment to pause for breath helps empty my mind. I know I’ve paused for long enough when the curtains of the empty stage that is my mind begins to twitch and fresh ideas skip in, gently reminding me of why I rush around so much. Of how I’d like to live my life.

Time out isn’t just something that can help our children pause for thought. When we’re able to take ourselves to the time out place as adults is when we’re able to become whole again.

Be Good

Growing up, all the adults around me used to say, “Be good.” And when I asked why, some simply replied, “Because it’s important” with no further explanation.

Then one day, one of the more knowing adults, a teacher, told me how if I did good deeds, good things would happen to me.

So one Saturday, when I was 12 years old, I decided to test my teacher’s assertion. Not so much to see if she was telling the truth (since many of the same adults also told me lies), but rather that my heart told me I was onto something important.

In Search of Good

The experiment went as follows. I decided to “be good” for the entire day and keep a tally of my good deeds.

On my way to the library, I met an old lady waiting to cross the road. With naive enthusiasm, I grabbed her frail arm and said, “I’ll help you cross the road.”

Afterwards, as I beamed with pride at my obvious first good deed of the day, I noticed a bewildered look on the old lady’s face. “What’s the matter?” I asked, “Can I help?” To which she replied, “I didn’t want to cross the road. Now I need help to get back to the other side.”

By the time I returned the old lady to the other side of the road, I’d learned an important lesson. A deed is only good if the recipient benefitted from my help, regardless of my best intentions.

Full of youthful gusto, I went about the rest of my day doing good deeds, starting with handing in a purse I found on my way to the shops to the nearest store to give the person who lost it the best chance of finding it again. This taught me my second lesson of the day. Good deeds are rarely done in isolation and I needed to trust others to do the right thing for my good deeds to work.

When eventually I got to the library, I was disappointed to find the last copy of the novel I wanted had just been taken out minutes before my arrival. “Never mind,” I told myself. “I’ll just have to wait a bit longer.” Then, as I was leaving the library, one of the librarians called me back to say that luckily, someone else had just returned a copy and would I like to borrow it?

Of course I did! I smiled to myself as I clutched my treasure of a book. Perhaps good deeds did happen to people who do good, I mused.

Be the Change You Want to See

By the end of the day, I was convinced. For each good thing I did that day, I was rewarded by something good happening to me. It didn’t matter how big or small my good deed was nor how big or small my reward was. The fact that the numbers tallied up was what made the difference to me.

I stopped keeping count after running the same experiment on several more occasions as it seemed simpler to do good whenever I could. It’s not always easy, but it makes sense to me.

It’s true what the adults say. What you focus on, you get more of. And what goes around comes around.

The Inhumane Condition

The risk with working in London, or in any large cosmopolitan city in the 21st century for that matter, is that we sometimes lose touch with our own humanity.

The Stress Test

For instance, how was your journey from your home to your desk this morning? What do you remember of it? And what of the people you spent your 45-minute commute with?

For many people, it’s a case of tune-out-the-outside-world until you make it to your desk. Avoid eye contact and social interaction at all cost.

For some, this zombiefied way of living continues from waking until it’s time to go to bed. Again. And again. And again.

A Different World

Now imagine a world where we greet one another with a polite smile when we board a train. A world where we offer those more in need than ourselves a seat instead of shoving aside the young, the old and the needy before squeezing into a seat ourselves.

The cynics out there will complain that no such place can exist where mankind, womankind and childrenkind tread.

Live Dangerously

What if you could change the world one seat at a time by gifting it to those who truly need it? After all, it only takes one living person to awake a carriage full of zombies.

“This too will pass”

As Claire Rayner once said, “When things are spectacularly dreadful; when things are absolutely appalling; when everything is superb and wonderful and marvellous and happy – say these four words to yourself. ‘This too will pass’. They will give you a sense of perspective and help you also make sense of what is good and be stoical about what is bad.”

To some, Christmas is a time for celebration. To others, Christmas may be a curiosity. Whatever Christmas means to you, it too will pass. Here’s wishing you a fun and restful holiday with the people you love.

Food for Thought

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Coaches is my mini series inspired by the style of Paul Coelho‘s “Manual of the Warrior of Light“.

• Habit 1: Lead by Example
• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
• Habit 3: Set a Sustainable Pace
• Habit 4: Think with Your Head and Feel with Your Heart
• Habit 5: Pull not Push
• Habit 6: Talk Less, Listen More
• Habit 7: Flow Like a Stream

For more ideas on personal and team development, take a look at “The Dream Team Nightmare – Boost Team Productivity Using Agile Techniques“. Happy Coaching!

BONUS: You can download this series of blog entries as a complementary article published in the PragProg Magazine.

Habit 7: Flow Like a Stream

A coach works with ease like running water. They are patient, pragmatic, and present. The effectiveness and efficiency with which they work inspires others to strive to achieve the same. To coach with ease is the result of years of conscious practice, perseverance, and a promise to be better.

Exercise: Pick a Tool

Pick a tool you’d like to improve in your use of. Set aside seven days. Identify improvement ideas, then implement them in those seven days. Measure and reflect, then repeat as desired.

I suggest short improvement time boxes such as seven days because the act of measuring progress in small increments and often not only keeps it in the forefront of your mind but it also encourages you to keep moving forward.

For more information, see: “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell in which he describes the “10,000-Hour Rule,” which states that the key to success in any field is through practice for approximately 10,000 hours.